Renaissance et changement
by Snowpoppy
Summary: Rebirth and change...
1. Chapter 1

**Hi. This is Snowpoppy! I am (not) proud to publish my second story here. It came to me on a whim, and I wrote it down on a whim. Please forgive me. I'm an inexperience writer who's not very good. But do review and tell me your opinion, good or bad. **

**~Snowpoppy**

* * *

I hung on the edge desperately, despairingly.

Did I want to live?

Did I want to push over that wall?

I turned and tossed,

Never waking, never dying.

I did not see or hear

The kind voices that came to my bedside,

Day after day.

I turned and tossed,

Seeing the light but wanting to go

To the dark and stay.

Did I want to live?

The answer for me was unclear.

Did I want to live the way I knew I would be?

Torn, broken,

I still hung on. Never waking.

Until the day I heard a voice.

Ryuzaki, it said,

You have business.

Wake.

* * *

**Did I tell all you lovely guys and girls that this will be a short story of two or three chapters? Not exactly a one-shot, but close. It's better than my previous try of one chapter (hooray!). **

**I hope you enjoyed this.**

**~Snowpoppy**


	2. Chapter 2

**Heh... Snowpoppy with the second chapter here. Tell me if it's good or not, okay? I'm not a poet, and I'm not sure if this even counts as a poem (is it something else?). Well, thank you to Angelus Sabina Rhea Dragomir for a review! Thanks! It encourages me a lot (and I'm not kidding). **

**Well, I hope you enjoy it, or find it mildly interesting.**

* * *

I saw his eyes unconsciously

Strained to reach toward

The source of light

The voice was right.

I had unfinished business left

In the world to do.

I could not leave it be

And jump into Death's welcome arms,

I had to reach

Strain

Struggle

To reach and clasp that

Extended hand.

I felt myself swimming

Up, up, and up.

Until I surfaced,

I felt nothing but struggle

But when I surfaced, reached the top,

I felt peace.

Not happiness, peace

In oneself.

I opened my eyes

And looked into my savior's dark brown eyes

Intently gazing at me,

Betraying nothing.

I opened my eyes

And looked around the room

White and gray

A hospital. I closed

My eyes, tiredly, wanting to rest,

But knowing I was here

That Death no longer could see me.

I doubted

My choice, did I want to live?

Maybe I should've gone to Death's embrace

Let him swallow me up

Forever.

Had I made the right choice?

Through my semi-consciousness

I doubted myself.

My spirit tossed and turned

While my body lay

In a clean white bed,

Surrounded by tubes,

The hostile environment

Of a hospital.

It jolted me- this was not the

Lilac and green walls of home.

This was the hospital, stark,

Unwelcoming, sterile.

I woke. Opening my eyes, I stared,

First unseeingly, then in disbelief.

An alarm rang, shrill, echoing off the walls,

Until a plump... nurse? Came hurrying in.

I still stared, like I could not see.

Was this me? The Sakuno?

I doubted myself,

Let myself toss and turn in doubt's wake,

Still I stared, unseeingly.

I heard voices, worried voices.

She's not fully awake, I heard.

I tossed.

Is she alive?

Yes. I am! I wanted to shout,

But I did not.

I stayed in my strange trance, drifting in and out,

Till I heard another voice.

She will not desert us here, I heard.

No! I will not desert you!

I opened my eyes fully, and struggled to speak.

Obaa-chan...

I mouthed the words, finding I could not speak.

Obaa-chan...

* * *

**So, how was it? Please review, much much much appreciated! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi! This is Snowpoppy. This story is getting rather slow, isn't it? I can't keep on rambling on. Okay, I promise there will be some more interesting stuff in the fourth chapter. I want to finish this story in the sixth, maybe fifth or seventh chapter. **

**But anyway, I hope you enjoy.**

* * *

Obaa-chan, my grandmother,

My mother, my family.

She looked at me with those

Tender eyes, tinged with pity.

I looked away,

Not wanting to see those eyes, those feelings.

Tears burned silently in my eyes,

I held them in.

Later that day, when the bluebirds

Were chirruping

Outside my window,

Ryoma and the others

Came to visit.

I knew I couldn't talk,

Couldn't tell them I wasn't okay,

So I just pretended to sleep,

Like a play-dead possum.

They stayed for an hour or so,

Quietly conversing with Obaa-chan,

But others staring at me,

My hideous looks, my burned face,

My burned throat.

Though I was unwilling,

I let tears saddle my cheeks,

And free-fall down my scarred face.

I knew they had cut my braids,

Cut my pride, my hair.

Did I look pretty?

I scolded myself, for being vain

Amidst a tragedy.

Was it a tragedy?

Was my obaa-chan

Glad? Glad that I am injured?

Are Ryoma and the others

Coming here only out of respects

Paid to obaa-chan?

I swam in my thoughts,

Twisted them to fit my self-pity,

All the while

Jealous of

Everything.

I swam and ducked, avoiding

Any source of hope.

Even though I wanted to hope,

I shied away

As though it would burn through

My mask of hidden

Feelings.

It was true,

I knew I was being selfish

But I continued smiling.

Empty smiles, assuring visitors

I was okay.

Even though I wasn't.

My grandmother was aging,

I knew she was tired,

Wanted it to be over,

Go on in life,

But I also knew

She was living still

Just for me.

I never hated myself more.

But as all stories go,

There must be a savior.

An angel, clad in silks,

Shining with luster,

Reaching out,

Wings sparkling.

But there wasn't.

There was only a young man,

Who I knew and admired.

He was not Ryoma,

I was surprised,

That he would be the one

To reach out.

It was Tezuka.

Who leaned out,

And laid a hand on my shoulder.

I shivered from the touch,

But did not pull away.

It was reassuring.

Selfish,

Greedy for love.

So I just laid there,

With Tezuka's hand on my shoulder,

Drinking in the warmth.

After a while,

When all birds had stopped singing,

He said,

Don't give up, Ryuzaki.

And he stood, back straight,

And walked out of the room,

Not bothering to look,

Not even a glance.

It jolted me. Jolted me hard.

I smiled a half-smile,

And propped myself on my elbows.

I would not, I thought.

Give up.

* * *

**Did you like it? Please please review tell me whether this is poetry or broken up fragments of a sentence (please! I have no idea). **

**~Snowpoppy**

**P.S.- Special mention to my own savior, Angelus Sabina Rhea Dragomir, for two reviews in a row (:gasps:tears:).**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey! This is Snowpoppy here. This is the second chapter of the day! Take that, time! Anyway, this one's a bit shorter and I hope it's faster-paced. After all, it wouldn't do to go around all day to spout the same words all the time, hmm? **

**Well, you can tell I'm feeling cheerful! I hope you enjoy it.**

* * *

I pushed,

I pushed so hard

I thought I would break.

I pushed on,

Thinking of obaa-chan,

Ryoma,

Tezuka.

My heart went out to all three,

For my grandmother,

Who had stayed by my side through head aches

And sickness.

She told me,

I'm happy, Sakuno.

Don't worry.

She died the next day.

I think it was because

She knew I had someone who cared.

So she could go on

And die peacefully.

I cried, but I did not grieve.

I knew she had been happy.

So I pushed on

In my recovery,

In memory of obaa-chan.

I hope

I had done her pride

As her granddaughter, Ryuzaki Sakuno.

The day when I got

My voice

Back was the happiest

I had been in

A long time.

It was gravelly, scratchy,

But I nevertheless smiled

A true smile,

Tinged with bittersweet feelings.

I had no family now.

I often

Wondered if I was loved.

Officials, administrators,

They came and arranged for me

To live with Tomoka,

Who had been quiet throughout

My accident.

She embraced me warmly,

Without a hint of pity or sadness.

Joy,

It brings out the best.

Doesn't it? They discharged me

On a weekend.

I felt so free, even

With bandages around my throat,

Scars on my face,

Hair short, brushing against

The nape of my neck.

I was happy.

University was never better,

I embraced every ray

Of sunshine,

Or every cloud, no matter how dark.

I loved life, and could not

Love it more.

I met Tezuka once more,

And thanked him

For supporting me.

He simply nodded, but

I could see a smile,

Gracing his features.

I smiled in return.

* * *

**Well, how was it? Review, please. Thank you!**

**~Snowpoppy**


	5. Chapter 5

**Snowpoppy is here (at least in Doc Manager)! None of my stories have EVER gone over four chapters, because I deleted them (sorry!). So I am especially proud to present the fifth chapter of Renaissance et Changement!**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

I brushed away

All my growing

Feelings for Tezuka,

Writing it off for the fact

That he had supported me

Throughout my accident.

He was in his

Third year of university,

I was but in my first.

But I continued to see him,

Whether on the wall

Playing tennis,

Or walking along

The brick-lined campus,

University of Tokyo.

We sometimes

Exchanged hellos,

But never more.

Our lives did not intersect,

Until the day

We both went to

Rehabilitation.

He for his arm,

I for my voice.

We met by the front door,

Each of us

Carrying luggage.

He nodded slightly,

And I smiled lightly.

After that

It was a trance.

He took my luggage, opened

The door.

What a gentleman he was,

Yet I did not stutter.

I had grown in many ways,

One of them in confidence

And grace.

I smiled thank you,

And walked ahead.

We went our separate ways,

And pushed through

Our dual recoveries.

My voice

Grew sweeter by the day,

Less scratchy,

More normal,

Like it used to be.

Tezuka's arm grew

Stronger, more flexible,

Even though it already was.

I knew I had feelings,

But I discarded them.

Telling myself

It was useless

To try.

I still smiled, happy,

Free,

But there was an ache

In my heart,

A longing,

For Tezuka, my love.

My young love for

Ryoma had dimmed,

Into spare bouts

Of affection.

* * *

Winter, snowy.

Snowy and cold,

All of us students

Were off for winter break.

It seemed that time had passed

So quickly,

I felt old.

It was a new feeling.

I still wore a lace scarf

Over my throat,

To cover the old

Scars that slashed

Across my neck.

But one day, as

I plodded tiredly

In the snow, back to

The dorm, I saw

Tezuka,

Doing the same thing.

My heart lifted,

Although I told it

Not to. To erase the feelings.

He saw me,

I saw him,

He walked over,

I pretended

Not to notice,

Instead choosing to

Continue to walk.

He put a hand

On my shoulder,

I froze.

It was the same shoulder

He had touched when

I was in the

Hospital.

The same warmth emanated

From him,

Making me stop in my tracks.

I looked up at his face,

Still young

And unlined.

He smiled slightly

And said,

Would you care...

To go to the Winter Festival

With me?

To me,

Time stopped.

To him,

Time stopped.

I looked away,

And thought I saw

Obaa-chan standing

By a thorny bush,

Smiling.

I looked up,

Into his eyes,

And said...

* * *

**Did you like it? As you can tell, this will be a TezukaxSakuno story here. I left a little bit of a cliffhanger here, but I'm sure you can also tell what the answer will be. Heh. **

**I know this story probably is like a classic love story thing, but hey, I just started out. Forgive me. I plan on starting a real, non-poetry type story after I finish this one though.**

**By the way, I might be posting another chapter later today, so if you're still reading this (thank you!), it might be a positive...?**

**Please review! Thank you to Angelus Sabina Rhea Dragomir for my third review!**

**~Snowpoppy.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Second chapter of the day! I update fast in stories like these, because they're so short and easy to write. I apologize if the page length is horrendously long (I know it is). Well, I am dragging things out a little bit here, I've lengthened my chapter limit to nine chapters now! The next one I know already is going to be about the ball, and the ball only. ****  
**

**Enjoy, read, and review!**

* * *

And said...

I'd love to, Tezuka-san.

He smiled again,

A little wider,

A little sweeter.

He took my hand

And I did not protest.

He walked me back

To my dorm.

How did he know?

Oh.

He was once a first-year

As well.

We both simmered over

With contained joy,

Surpassing even

The jealous,

Angry glares sent our way,

With a double dose

Of poison.

The Festival was in

Three day's time,

Plenty enough.

We arrived

At the front door

To my dormitory.

I bid good-bye,

Happily and sweetly,

And as soon as

I stepped onto the fine

Persian rug,

I lost my composure

And flew to

Tomoka's room.

Tomoka! Tomoka!

I cried.

Tezuka-san asked

Me out to the ball...

I trailed away uncertainly,

Looking at my friend's

Sad eyes. She hadn't

Found love yet,

Not even a trace.

My heart broke that instant,

And I ran to her side.

Tomoka? Tomoka?

I'm fine, she answered.

She perked up though,

And said,

Shopping! Dresses!

I sighed involuntarily.

It certainly seemed

Like she was back

To her old self.

I smiled.

* * *

I stood in the dazzling

Store lights,

Eyes swimming at all

The lovely sights.

Tomoka bubbled beside me

And dragged me into a shop.

I couldn't believe

How many

Strapless,

Sleeveless,

Showy,

Dresses there were.

Tomoka was in her

Element,

Chatting about the

Latest trends,

I grew disinterested

And tired.

Until she showed me

A dress she herself

Did not

Particularly like.

It was a cream colored,

V-neck,

With straps,

Floor length dress.

I fell in love.

* * *

**How was it? The dress I found on Google Images (forgive me!). The link if you want to see it (my descriptions are never good) is: **

** . **

**I know it's long. Sorry. I like the dress though! I think it fits Sakuno. I didn't want those showy fancy ones; they don't go well with Sakuno.**

**Review please! Thank you!**

**~Snowpoppy.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hee! Snowpoppy in attendance. Anyway, seventh chapter (or sixth? I don't remember)! Yeah!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

The night of the ball

Was a glittering

Clear night,

Perfect.

Starry.

Romantic...

I put on my gown,

A really lovely

Affair.

I donned a fine

Pair of white ballet flats,

And curled my hair.

I put a single silver

Hair clip

To adorn my hair,

And wore another

Silver piece of jewelry.

It had belonged

To obaa-chan.

I wonder

What she would think

If she saw me

Now, dressed in finery

And jewels?

I smiled.

Tomoka was happy too.

Eiji-kun had asked her out

To the Festival,

And she was glowing,

Radiating,

With joy.

I think we all were.

She herself had

Let down her hair,

A beautiful mess

Of curls.

A dark blue strapless

Empire waist

Was stunning

On her.

I smiled.

I was happy,

Did I wish for more?

I stared out at the

Glimmering city lights of Tokyo

And wished the answer

Was

No.

But I did wish for more,

And I could not

Deny my heart

That fact, starkly outlined.

I did want more.

I wanted

Love.

I wanted

Tezuka's love...

I scolded myself for being

And waited

Anxiously

For six o'clock

To arrive.

I fluttered

To and fro,

A sinking feeling

In my stomach.

Was I ready?

Was I ready for the ball?

I looked

At Tomoka,

Bubbling over with energy.

I smiled.

* * *

I walked with Tezuka,

My heart pounding.

Beside me,

Tomoka held

Eiji-kun's hand,

Chattering excitedly.

I wished

I had Tomoka's

Confidence.

Instead, I silently

Walked with Tezuka,

Until he asked,

How are you doing?

Fine, I smiled.

It was easier to talk

When someone else was

Asking you

Something.

The hall was glittering

With lights,

And glowing

With people's voices.

I looked all around

At all the people

Wearing fancy party dresses,

With expensive looking

Jewelry.

I wondered

If I belonged here,

With Tezuka in his

Navy blue suit

And black slacks,

Dashingly handsome.

Even if he didn't know it.

He put a hand

On my shoulder

Again

And led me into the

Dazzling room.

The rest of the night was

Bizarre.

Bizarre in a good way,

In an exciting way.

I had never been to

Something as large

As this,

Not even my Senior Prom.

I remember

My first dance with Tezuka,

I remember

My first dinner with Tezuka,

I remember

My first walk with Tezuka,

I remember

My first kiss with

My Kunimitsu.

* * *

**Did you like it? I know I skipped out on the details a later, but I'll skim over those in the next chapter (s). **

**Please review!**

**~Snowpoppy**


	8. Chapter 8

**Snowpoppy! Is here. This will be the last chapter of Renaissance et Changement... tears. I enjoyed writing this story and I hope all you lovely people enjoyed reading it! This chapter is sort of an epilogue, because the Winter Festival was the lead up. **

**Like I said, this story is not really a story, even if it does have eight chapters (of mindless poetry/fragmented sentences). **

**Anyway, big thank you to Angelus Sabina Rhea Dragomir for being my reviewer! I hope to see all of you soon (in a story, that is)!  
**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

I reminisced

About that night

For years to come.

Every detail,

Every scene.

The glass chandeliers,

The wooden buffet tables,

The wine glasses,

The garden, lit with

Moonlight.

Moonlight lit some areas

And left others

Dark.

It was a...

Night Fantasy.

The bench,

Wrought from stone,

A lovely niche

In the night.

He and I sat

Together,

Silent,

Pondering, until

He said

I love you...

A faint blush

Illuminated his features,

Knowing he could

Be thrown away.

I turned to him,

Reeling from shock,

But smiling all the same.

_I love you too..._

We leaned forward

And met in a passionate,

Long, kiss.

It was the best night

In my life.

* * *

Kunimitsu,

Although he didn't look like it,

Was a very good boyfriend.

What more could you ask?

Faithful,

Strong,

Warm on the inside,

Kunimitsu.

We met after school days,

In a little parfait shop,

Often meeting up with

Eiji-kun and Tomoka,

Who were together.

Sometimes

We'd see Marui-kun too,

With a serious but smiling

Friend as well.

They were the good days.

* * *

Throughout the years,

We swam over everything,

Every obstacle,

Every pitfall.

Together,

Hand in hand,

I loved him.

He loved me.

Although he only said it once,

You could see it.

He could see it.

I majored in English,

While he majored in

International relations.

We met up for study sessions,

And both became

Fluent in each other's

Studies.

We would've made

Our teacher's proud.

Kunimitsu finished college

And went off to

Play tennis again.

He said he didn't want

To retire from tennis

Without a college degree.

I smiled.

Every year I cheered him on,

From the sidelines.

I still played tennis,

Although mostly for fun.

I could see that Kunimitsu

Loved tennis,

Loved me.

I was happy,

For me,

And for him.

I finished college

As quickly as I could and

Found a job

Teaching

At Seigaku.

I think

They were surprised

To see another

Ryuzaki.

When I was twenty three

And happy with my job...

I became pregnant.

I told Kunimitsu

Ecstatically

Over the phone

And in person,

He was overjoyed,

And I saw a true smile

For quite possibly

The third time in my life.

We met in a small

German cafe,

Linking hands,

Linking souls,

Linking spirits,

Linking ourselves,

We kissed

In true joy

And happiness.

* * *

**Waaaah! And there it is. How was it? Bit sloppy? I put this together in the space of two days, so please tell me. Hee. **

**~Snowpoppy**

**P.S.~ THANK YOU FOR READING THIS! YOU'RE ALL ANGELS! EVEN IF YOU DIDN'T READ THIS AND JUST HAPPEN TO BE SCROLLING DOWN EVERY PAGE, YOU'RE ANGELS TOO! THANK YOU SO MUCH!**


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